


even mountains crumble into the sea

by karasunonolibero



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Break Up, M/M, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 04:28:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20147638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/karasunonolibero/pseuds/karasunonolibero
Summary: “Do you just not love me anymore?” Oikawa’s voice is soft when he interrupts Suga’s thoughts.He looks up, meets Oikawa’s gaze again, hesitates. “I don’t know.”“That’s worse than no.”~or: They break up. Suga doesn't know how to feel.





	even mountains crumble into the sea

**Author's Note:**

> idk i'm in a Mood and wanted to write some sad shit and oisuga was the first pairing that came to mind so here we are
> 
> unbeta'ed word vomit tbh?? like i said i'm in a Mood
> 
> (title is from san francisco by 5 seconds of summer)

“I think we should break up.”

The words are out of Suga’s mouth before he has time to think about them.

Well—no, that’s not strictly true. He’s thought about them for weeks. Weeks of a poor night’s sleep and getting distracted while grading papers and crying in his room after Oikawa leaves on Sunday evenings.

We should break up.

Four words to put an end to a year. It’s such a blunt, cold sentence, devoid of room to misinterpret. And yes, Suga can be a blunt person, certainly more direct than Oikawa, but even this is a new level of brusque that he hardly even uses in the classroom with his most troublesome students. But he has to say it.

“What?” Oikawa hasn’t even been in the house ten minutes. He’s still standing near the door, his jacket in his hand and his briefcase on the floor. “You’re breaking up with me?”

Suga sighs, sinking into the corner of the couch, socked feet propped up on the table. “Can we talk?”

“Sure.”

Suga stares at his hands, waits till he feels the cushion dip with Oikawa’s weight. “I think we should break up,” he says again, his throat numb.

Oikawa reaches for him, covering Suga’s hands with his own. “I thought things were going well,” he says.

“I did too.”

“What can I do to make you stay?”

Hazel eyes meet pleading brown. Oikawa thinks it’s something he did wrong, or something Suga wants him to do. Suga wishes it were that easy. “It’s not you, it’s me,” he says, almost choking on the overwrought line.

Normally if either of them said lines that sounded too cheesy for real life, they’d look at each other for a beat and then dissolve into laughter. There’s no laughter now.

“Doesn’t everyone say that?” Oikawa shakes his head.

“It’s true, though.”

“Are you sure?” Oikawa’s frowning deeply now. “I know I work a lot, and I’m not the best cook, and you hate when I make you watch alien documentaries and you always yell at me when I’m indecisive about the music in the car but—”

“It’s none of that,” Suga interrupts him gently. “It’s none of that. All of that…well, it’s what I like about you.” He manages the smallest of smiles as he thinks. “You wouldn’t be you without your alien documentaries or going through twelve radio stations before you settle on one.”

“So what is it, then?”

Suga leans his head back and closes his eyes. He’s not even sure, is the thing, and that’s what makes this so hard. Things _were_ good. They went on fun dates, hung out with each other’s friends, had great sex, laughed in the grocery store and kissed in the rain and slept so entwined in one another that they only took up a sliver of the space in Suga’s big bed. Oikawa would talk about the future in abstracts, and Suga would see it actualized. Them sharing an apartment together, close to both of their jobs. Suga found himself looking at apartments online when he was bored, on the hunt for the perfect place for them to start their lives together. The building had to be pet-friendly, though. Oikawa wanted a dog so he could name it Sirius.

He hadn’t touched the website in two months.

“Do you just not love me anymore?” Oikawa’s voice is soft when he interrupts Suga’s thoughts.

He looks up, meets Oikawa’s gaze again, hesitates.

He cares for him, definitely. He does care and that’s never been doubted. But love…Suga isn’t certain if he stopped, when he stopped. He just knows that things are different now, beyond just growing out the honeymoon phase. It’s a feeling deep in his gut he hasn’t been able to shake for weeks now, a hissing voice telling him this relationship’s run its course.

And then when he found himself Googling ‘how to know when to break up with someone,’ he realized the feeling was right.

“I don’t know,” he whispers.

“That’s worse than no.”

Suga averts his eyes, staring at the little green leaves on his sock. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you sure?” Oikawa asks again. Suga isn’t sure what he’s referring to. Is he sure he’s sorry? Is he sure he doesn’t know if he loves Oikawa? Is he sure they should break up?

“Yes.”

Oikawa exhales, closes his eyes and nods once. Suga wonders if he saw this coming, if Oikawa had any of the nagging doubts or uncertainties that he did.

“Tooru—”

“I don’t really know what to say.” Oikawa sighs again. “I…I’m not happy about it, but if you’re not happy then I guess that’s not good either. I just wish I could have made you happy.”

“You did,” Suga tries to assure him, squeezing his hand.

Oikawa pulls it away. “I don’t know if we can be friends,” he admits.

“That’s okay,” Suga replies. He’ll let Oikawa decide how he wants to handle that; he’s clearly more affected by this. “We can do whatever you want.”

Oikawa flounders for a second, mouth opening and closing like he’s looking for words. “Then is this it?”

“I think so.” Suga stands up, holding his arms out. After a few seconds, Oikawa hugs him.

It’s not that Suga won’t miss him. He certainly will, he knows as he feels Oikawa’s warmth against him. But sometimes it’s not worth staying just so he won’t miss something.

“Goodbye, Tooru,” he murmurs as they separate, placing a hand on Oikawa’s cheek.

Oikawa quirks his lips into something resembling a smile. “Goodbye, Koushi.”

And then he’s gone. Suga will never see the door close on Oikawa again.

He’ll find the concrete evidence that he’s gone over the next week. The suddenly empty drawer in his dresser. The lone toothbrush in the bathroom. The lack of alien DVDs by his TV.

But, Suga tells himself as he makes tea in a mug Oikawa gave him last birthday, this was for the best.

**Author's Note:**

> sorry
> 
> [main blog](http://humhalleloujah.tumblr.com) // [haikyuu!! blog](http://karasunonolibero.tumblr.com)


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